Dear Reader,

This weekend a private Infinity Container was created in our ceremonial yurt space. I wrote this in reflection of some things that came up for me as the space holder and wanted to share...

The Octopus & The Whale: A Journey of Attunement

The octopus tentacles—the ones that reach out to control, to manipulate. The ones that grasp at others without trust or regard...they say, "you're doing this wrong, I have to fix it." They can tangle us in confusion, codependence, judgement, distancing us... even from ourselves.

And sometimes, we feel them grabbing at us from the outside—urging us to fit in, to comply, to be something we are not. Urging us to lose our boundaries and values, tangling us in the weeds of other people’s emotions and truths that don’t match our own.

Yet, if we look closer from an integrated state—with compassion—we see these tentacles as protectors trying to organize chaos. Most of the time, they are born from missing moments of attunement—the felt sense of being truly seen and met.

We all have tentacles. We lose ourselves in the tentacles. But there is another way.

Enter the Whale.

The whale says: Meet this place with heart. Not bravado, but an integrated, brave heart.

When we receive enough attunement—especially in early life (the first seven years) and in key moments of growth—we develop an inner trust. This trust helps us navigate chaos without suctioning to the tentacles. It tells us:

"If I let go, I will be found. I will find an environment of resonance, of whale energies. I will not be lost."

It is brave to trust this process.

When we are given enough moments of intuitive attunement with a caregiver, our nervous systems have more fortification and resiliency to trust more easily.

Why Attunement Matters

If you are a space-holder, a doctor, a parent, a caregiver, a ceremonialist, a practitioner, a teacher, you have a rare and profound opportunity: To practice attunement.

Attunement says: I feel you, and I feel you as separate and valuable from myself. It says: I notice your body language, your energy, your voice, your behaviors—and I respond with loving presence.

Attunement is an integrative practice. It is valuing all parts involved in the frequencies present and feeling their essence without judgement or an anxious need to create change.

Attunement is the greatest predictor of attachment style later in life—whether we will be secure, avoidant, anxious, or disorganized. (More on this: Dr. Dan Siegel’s research).

All of us had moments where we were met with deep presence. Some of us more than others.

All of us had moments where we were with the company of another but not their presence. Where we were scared inside, and no one noticed. Or maybe it was noticed, but avoided.

Personal Reflections on Attunement

My mother must have given me rich moments of attunement. And yet, I also know she was likely sick with leukemia for much of our time together...It took me much time to remember and practice a sense of true security.

After she died in 1989, I would retreat behind the forsythia bushes to dissociate—not into a void, but into something alive. The dirt held me. The tiny yellow flowers on sturdy branches stood in community around me. Nature attuned to me when human presence could not. My sister attuned to me but she was young herself and still needing care.

And then I met Nana Joysee (join us for storytime!... see below) and I learned what it felt like to receive attunement. To really be given space to find myself. I also learned how to attune with quantum and access the infinite.

Attunement is a Practice

In safe medicine ceremony our neurochemical armor relaxes and we find more availability to open to attunement. Trusting enough to let emotions and thoughts rise to the surface; pain points that created the armor can surface and release. This weekend I felt myself deeply in the energetic work I learned from JoySee. I was simultaneously with her teachings, with my client, and playing in a robust Infinity Container.

May we all practice this kind of connecting. May we all meet one another with presence.

A lightness is achieved when this kind of resonance creates release & room for expansion.

Opportunities to Practice

Full Members:

**StoryTime with Nana Joysee- this Sunday we release Chapter 3: Glowie Learns the Meaning of Shift & Shifting and That it is Different From Startle.

Live Discussion Wed 2.26 at 5-6:00pm PST with Dr Nana Joysee & Dr Victoria

**Office Hours weekly Tuesdays 4-5pm pst - Drop in anytime within the hour and receive 10-15 min of 1:1 support in a break out room with Dr Victoria.

*** Our Library of Integration Teachings and Practices are also a great way to practice attuning to and integrating with more of ourselves and to use such teachings and practices with your clients.

All Members

**March Community Call Saturday 3.1 at 10-11:30am PST - Embodiment Practice & Discussion. All are welcome. Held by Dr Victoria and TIC community members. Join our free community in order to:

With deep love & appreciation,

Victoria Sterkin, PhD
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